Well Fen has left for his new home today, Heaven.
He went peacefully and that’s all I could have ever asked for. I arranged for this whole process to be done when I knew that all the people at my ranch would not be there, so it could be quiet. And I got that wish granted.
Fen, thank you for giving me the best two years of my life. You taught me how to love, trust and come outside my comfort zone. I could not thank you enough for all of this that you blessed me with. I am a bit too emotional to go on with this little speech.
*Tears*
When I am feeling a little bit better I will make a memorial video to express myself.
After all of this happened, Robby got off work and I still wanted to work with Cooper. I had to do something to make myself feel better. But we decided to leave the ranch for a while to grab a snack and to get some air…
Then I went back to the ranch to work with Cooper. It was so weird not seeing Dear Fen there… Cooper was happy to see me as always. He has not been allowed in the pasture for a couple of day because he had a small swelling on his left leg, So I wanted to let him rest for a couple of days. He is totally fine now. So I got there and pulled Cooper out of his stall. Gave him a good grooming and then tacked him up. I walked to the arena and mounted and my saddle slipped! So I got off, fixed it, then got back on. Then I gently squeezed him and asked him to walk and he just planted his feet and would not budge! I asked again and he started to back up. I asked again and he gave me two really good bucks then reared up pretty high. So I got off of him and checked his tack to make sure it was all ok.
Everything was fine so I lunged him for a couple of minutes to get some of the energy out. Got back on and asked him to walk forward. He started backed up again! So I got off again and ground drove him with my lunge lines for about ten minutes drilling him on stopping and going when I ask. He did great with that so I got back on him. I asked him to go and he started to back up yet again! At this point I was mad at myself for letting him think he can get away with these shenanigans. Luckily Robby was there and I asked him to grab the reins and walk Cooper around with me on him. This seemed to have done the trick because after a few steps Robby let go and we were walking on our own once again.
We had a couple more small issues, but I made sure to end on a good note. It was not our greatest training day. I tried to make the best of it. I hope this is just a rebellious stage and that we will work through it. Also he could have been feeling my negative energy from what happened earlier. Robby says he has faith in my training abilities and that I will be able to do it. I think so too. I will be at it again tomorrow for sure.
I guess I don’t have as much faith in myself as I should. Well I will definitely not give up. I have given up on too many things in my life and that has got me nowhere in life.
Time for me to go to bed and reflect on what has happened today.
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