Ahhh Christmas is in the air!.T minus 4 days until I leave for my visit to LA. I am so exited! I get to see some of my friends and family. In addition, I am excited to say that Robby gets to go as well. He will leave on Christmas day. I am so happy that we get to celebrate Christmas together. But it’s also cool that I will have a few days to visit with my friends before he gets there. Princess Sydney will be staying with Michael, Rob’s dad. I wish Sydney could come but I am sure she will do just fine with Michael. I will still be a worrywart though, it’s my nature. The only issue I am having is the care of my horse. I have not found anyone to take care of him. I have a couple people I am still going to call to see if they can care for Ferris while I am gone. If not he will just sit there in the pasture with no human contact other then the dude who feeds and cleans. Man if he has to sit all five days, he sure is going to be a handful and a half to ride when I get back.
On the subject of Ferris, he is doing incredibly well with his training! We have been hitting the trails whenever it is not raining. I really enjoy working with his horse. On Monday, we both actually took a spill on the trail. We were riding on slippery ground, I accidently spooked him and when he jumped he actually slipped and fell to the ground. And me with him of course. I hit my head really hard. But as soon as I hit the ground, I was up in record speed. And the cool thing is that Ferris stayed and did not run off. After I made sure we were both ok, I mounted back on and we finished are ride and it was lovely. Good thing I was actually wearing my helmet. When you are working with young horses, you got to expect a spill or two I guess. He is a really smart horse though when it comes to learning new things. I cannot believe we are trail riding out alone. Even with our little accident, I still have incredible trust in him. I know he would never purposely hurt me. He still needs a lot more work to be my next cowboy race champion. Which leads me to my next point……
Lately it has been almost impossible to get Ferris worked when it is raining. The stables have a beautiful covered arena, which is nice for rainy day rides. But the thing is it is ALWAYS unavailable as the people who take lessons get priority. So I either stand out in the rain for several hours in line and wait or I don’t ride at all. Yesterday I got the monthly ranch newsletter in the mail and they have several new rules that I am just so pissed about. First rule is people who take lessons get first priority for arena usage. This I already knew. Now they have periods where non-lesson people are not even allowed to use it or consider using it. Monday-Friday 3-7pm. In addition, all day Saturday. Most of the time I can only go in the afternoon to work him. So that really sucks. Then here is another rule that pisses me off. When lessons are going on in the big arena, you cannot use the round pen next to the arena. That is the only other pen to ride in that is not flooded with water and mud. So where the hell am suppose to ride when it’s raining?? I am so mad. It looks like I will be moving to a new ranch. I know I moved there to be with people but right now I can give a rats ass and would rather ride alone and get my horse worked. And right now I really do not care that all other ranches are more money. I just want to ride and train my horse. Period…
I started my dog training mentor sessions last week and I am really enjoying it. I have a feeling that this is going to be a really good thing for me. And I also worked a 7 hour shift unloading all the Petco store goods. 7 hours of heavy lifting. crazy thing is I sort of enjoyed it. We shall see how all of this fits into my future!
Well I have no clue when I will blog again, maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Ill never tell!
Tata for now.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year
Well I finally have some news regarding my dog training mentor sessions with Petco. They called me and want me to start doing sessions this Sunday. I am very excited and thankful. I honestly thought they would never call me back again and that I was going to have to search for a new job. I have no clue what to expect from these sessions. I hope it leads to a job that I can semi enjoy.
I am in full-blown Christmas mode. I find myself humming holiday tunes constantly. Heck, when I was in the shower I was belting out “Grandma got ran over by a rein dear”. I still need to get myself a santa hat to wear around. I have almost completed my holiday shopping except for some bits and pieces. I scaled down on some of my ideas to save myself some money. I know I am going to have over three hours of wrapping ahead of me. That ought to burn a couple calories.
Speaking of calories, yesterday I had a huge opps with my diet. I tried on one of my outfits I plan on wearing for the holidays and I hated the way I looked in it. I looked like a pregnant slob. I was so mad that it looked so good on me in the store but as soon as I tried it on at home it looked ugly. Anyway I got depressed after that and ate a generous portion of Robby’s trailmix. Its full of nuts and chocolate which equals to tons of fat. I have not had a food meltdown in a month so I was so disappointed with myself. But instead of making more bad decisions I went right back on track with my diet. And I did not eat anything the rest of the day since I went way over my daily calorie allowance.
Trying to eat less than 1200 calories is extremely hard for me. I am constantly starving which I think was one of the contributing factors of my food meltdown. I will allow myself to go up to 1300 but that has to be it. I noticed it is becoming very difficult to lose weight this week. I know I have not been as active as I can be but I am watching what I eat and ignoring my horrible cravings. I still go on walks when the weather is good. It is so frustrating knowing how good I can look. And I just don’t want to be as fat as I was ever again. One thing that makes me so mad is all these skinny people around me can eat whatever they want and stay perfectly thin and I have to practically starve myself to be borderline obese. Uhh whatever.
Today was a pretty good day for me. Robby and I work up early and went to see Ferris. I gave him a good workout in the arena. He is doing extremely well in his training. Then practiced opening the gate while I’m on him. He was not quite sure what I was asking of him. All I wanted him to do was stand still while I lean over to undo the hitch thing. Of course being a young horse he was moving all over the place. But after a couple of tries he got the general idea. As I went to open it one last time the gate slipped out of my hand and slammed him in the butt. I felt really really bad but he could care less. Any other horse would have freaked the freak out. But he was so good. I plan on taking him on a nice trail tomorrow if the weather stays nice.
Then I took Princess Sydney to her favorite place. The dog park. And she played with her many boyfriends (she is a very popular girl). Its funny most of the people that hang out at the dog park during weekday afternoons are in their late 40’s-60’s. They always tease me on how I am the youngest person there. But they are very nice and let me join in on their chats. Their chats are usually gossip about other dog park goers, or the silly things their husbands do. I do enjoy listening in though. It’s quite entertaining. The people that bring their dogs on the weekend are another story. People of all ages are there. However, I am usually riding on the weekends.
I have not written about my nutty cats in a long time. Sundance and I are not on good terms since I brought Sydney home. But he has always been a daddy’s boy. Panda is still very annoying and is always meowing. I wish he had an off button, especially in the middle of the freaking night when he insists on carrying on with his talking. And KT rarely makes an appearance anymore. She hangs out in our den and comes out when the dog is in her crate. None of the cats really care for Sydney.
Well thats it for now.
Nighty night peeps
I am in full-blown Christmas mode. I find myself humming holiday tunes constantly. Heck, when I was in the shower I was belting out “Grandma got ran over by a rein dear”. I still need to get myself a santa hat to wear around. I have almost completed my holiday shopping except for some bits and pieces. I scaled down on some of my ideas to save myself some money. I know I am going to have over three hours of wrapping ahead of me. That ought to burn a couple calories.
Speaking of calories, yesterday I had a huge opps with my diet. I tried on one of my outfits I plan on wearing for the holidays and I hated the way I looked in it. I looked like a pregnant slob. I was so mad that it looked so good on me in the store but as soon as I tried it on at home it looked ugly. Anyway I got depressed after that and ate a generous portion of Robby’s trailmix. Its full of nuts and chocolate which equals to tons of fat. I have not had a food meltdown in a month so I was so disappointed with myself. But instead of making more bad decisions I went right back on track with my diet. And I did not eat anything the rest of the day since I went way over my daily calorie allowance.
Trying to eat less than 1200 calories is extremely hard for me. I am constantly starving which I think was one of the contributing factors of my food meltdown. I will allow myself to go up to 1300 but that has to be it. I noticed it is becoming very difficult to lose weight this week. I know I have not been as active as I can be but I am watching what I eat and ignoring my horrible cravings. I still go on walks when the weather is good. It is so frustrating knowing how good I can look. And I just don’t want to be as fat as I was ever again. One thing that makes me so mad is all these skinny people around me can eat whatever they want and stay perfectly thin and I have to practically starve myself to be borderline obese. Uhh whatever.
Today was a pretty good day for me. Robby and I work up early and went to see Ferris. I gave him a good workout in the arena. He is doing extremely well in his training. Then practiced opening the gate while I’m on him. He was not quite sure what I was asking of him. All I wanted him to do was stand still while I lean over to undo the hitch thing. Of course being a young horse he was moving all over the place. But after a couple of tries he got the general idea. As I went to open it one last time the gate slipped out of my hand and slammed him in the butt. I felt really really bad but he could care less. Any other horse would have freaked the freak out. But he was so good. I plan on taking him on a nice trail tomorrow if the weather stays nice.
Then I took Princess Sydney to her favorite place. The dog park. And she played with her many boyfriends (she is a very popular girl). Its funny most of the people that hang out at the dog park during weekday afternoons are in their late 40’s-60’s. They always tease me on how I am the youngest person there. But they are very nice and let me join in on their chats. Their chats are usually gossip about other dog park goers, or the silly things their husbands do. I do enjoy listening in though. It’s quite entertaining. The people that bring their dogs on the weekend are another story. People of all ages are there. However, I am usually riding on the weekends.
I have not written about my nutty cats in a long time. Sundance and I are not on good terms since I brought Sydney home. But he has always been a daddy’s boy. Panda is still very annoying and is always meowing. I wish he had an off button, especially in the middle of the freaking night when he insists on carrying on with his talking. And KT rarely makes an appearance anymore. She hangs out in our den and comes out when the dog is in her crate. None of the cats really care for Sydney.
Well thats it for now.
Nighty night peeps
Monday, December 6, 2010
The Thunder Rolls, And the Lightning Strikes
Contrary to what the title says, there has not been thunder and lightning here. However, there has been a ton of rain! Almost nonstop. Usually I get really cranky when it rains a lot because it means that I do not get to go riding. But at the ranch I board at now, there is a huge covered, all weather arena. So it does come in handy on those nonstop rainy days. Only downside to that is that this ranch has a huge amount of people that take lessons. So on the weekends you have to wait until the lessons are over to get the arena.
Ferris (formerly known as Kooper) is coming a long very nicely with his training. I cannot believe I wanted to give up on him and move on. But he is turning out to be an amazing horse. And I cannot wait to hit the trails with him when it stops raining. I would really like to take him out before I leave for my five day trip. I just know he will be full of it when I get back haha. But I am seriously now starting to really bond with this horse. Yesterday When I was riding I got off him to pick up my hat that fell, and he was following me around like a puppy. That is when I knew that he really did love me.
Lately the weather has been too bad to do any exercise outside and do my walks. And I have no gym since they are remolding the apartment gym. So I have not been working out. I know there is stuff to in my own home. But I get really bored and frustrated, and when I get in that state of mine it is impossible to get anything done. So I have no clue if I am losing weight or not. So I have restricted my calorie intake a little more than normal. I am supposed to be taking in about 1300 or so. And I am trying to not eat more then 1000. But I am finding that dam near impossible. I am always hungry and when I do not eat enough I get a horrible migraine, and since my stomach is practically empty, I cannot take a pain reliever or ill get sick. It is really a vicious cycle. Therefore, I have been averaging about 1200 or so. Which to me is not bad since I am not working out as much. So in my head I am eating too much. Supposedly, you burn calories exercising a horse. But I do not count my horse time as exercise. So In my head I am not doing anything. I also do not own a scale (I was using the gyms). So I have no clue what I weigh and if I should be eating less. Everyone says that I am starting to look good. But I still feel fat. Once the gym is back, I will be happy and not so obsessed.
I am expecting a boatload of packages coming my way. I did almost all my Christmas shopping online this year. I actually thought it was kind of fun. I think I did pretty good this year I got a lot for a little and my wallet appreciates that. I still need to hit the mall for some little things but other than that I am done!
Speaking of my wallet, Petco has still not called me about my training for dog training. I have officially given up on them. I really do not think they have a place for me. Which is sad because I was really excited and really needed a job. When I had to put Fen down I totally blew through all my savings. I was going to use that money to do my Christmas shopping and have some money towards a new saddle, since the one I have is too small for me and not the right kind I would eventually need. But what’s done is done I guess. I still need like $300 or so more dollars to finish my shopping. I’m going to see what more of my tack I can sell to get the money. Hopefully there is something of mine that is worth a little bit.
On another note Sydney is getting bigger. I think she has doubled in size since we got her. And almost has doubled in weight as well. I really love this little girl. I have wanted a dog for so long and I finally stopped complaining and got one! I feel bad for her because it has been raining and I have not been able to take her to the park. Next time I get to take her she is going to be nuts, that’s for sure! She is such a huge goofball. Some of the things she does is ridiculous but so funny at the same time. Everyone that meets her loves her.
Well I am off. I will try to write more often.
Ferris (formerly known as Kooper) is coming a long very nicely with his training. I cannot believe I wanted to give up on him and move on. But he is turning out to be an amazing horse. And I cannot wait to hit the trails with him when it stops raining. I would really like to take him out before I leave for my five day trip. I just know he will be full of it when I get back haha. But I am seriously now starting to really bond with this horse. Yesterday When I was riding I got off him to pick up my hat that fell, and he was following me around like a puppy. That is when I knew that he really did love me.
Lately the weather has been too bad to do any exercise outside and do my walks. And I have no gym since they are remolding the apartment gym. So I have not been working out. I know there is stuff to in my own home. But I get really bored and frustrated, and when I get in that state of mine it is impossible to get anything done. So I have no clue if I am losing weight or not. So I have restricted my calorie intake a little more than normal. I am supposed to be taking in about 1300 or so. And I am trying to not eat more then 1000. But I am finding that dam near impossible. I am always hungry and when I do not eat enough I get a horrible migraine, and since my stomach is practically empty, I cannot take a pain reliever or ill get sick. It is really a vicious cycle. Therefore, I have been averaging about 1200 or so. Which to me is not bad since I am not working out as much. So in my head I am eating too much. Supposedly, you burn calories exercising a horse. But I do not count my horse time as exercise. So In my head I am not doing anything. I also do not own a scale (I was using the gyms). So I have no clue what I weigh and if I should be eating less. Everyone says that I am starting to look good. But I still feel fat. Once the gym is back, I will be happy and not so obsessed.
I am expecting a boatload of packages coming my way. I did almost all my Christmas shopping online this year. I actually thought it was kind of fun. I think I did pretty good this year I got a lot for a little and my wallet appreciates that. I still need to hit the mall for some little things but other than that I am done!
Speaking of my wallet, Petco has still not called me about my training for dog training. I have officially given up on them. I really do not think they have a place for me. Which is sad because I was really excited and really needed a job. When I had to put Fen down I totally blew through all my savings. I was going to use that money to do my Christmas shopping and have some money towards a new saddle, since the one I have is too small for me and not the right kind I would eventually need. But what’s done is done I guess. I still need like $300 or so more dollars to finish my shopping. I’m going to see what more of my tack I can sell to get the money. Hopefully there is something of mine that is worth a little bit.
On another note Sydney is getting bigger. I think she has doubled in size since we got her. And almost has doubled in weight as well. I really love this little girl. I have wanted a dog for so long and I finally stopped complaining and got one! I feel bad for her because it has been raining and I have not been able to take her to the park. Next time I get to take her she is going to be nuts, that’s for sure! She is such a huge goofball. Some of the things she does is ridiculous but so funny at the same time. Everyone that meets her loves her.
Well I am off. I will try to write more often.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Black Friday
Well yesterday was Thanksgiving. For the past two years when I worked at the kennel I had to work Thanksgiving. So it was really nice to have the day off with some family. It was a small gathering, Just Robby, his dad, and I. And of course little Miss Sydney. To me it really does not matter how many people you are with during the holiday. It is the together time that matters. And we had a really great day.
Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving I went shopping for all of my dinner ingredients with Robby’s mom. I actually was a fun experience (minus the multiple people that slammed into my arm at the store). We went back to Robby’s dad’s condo (he has a way better kitchen then I do) and prepped some of the food. I had a pretty fun time and it made me forget about some of the crappy things that have been happening to me.
Our Thanksgiving feast consisted of: Sweet and sour meatballs, homemade oven baked macaroni and cheese, garlic and cream cheese mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, and a salad. It was not your traditional Thanksgiving feast, But who cares! It was wonderful! And let’s not forget my homemade peanut butter cookies that were fabulous! It was a great meal and my fist holiday meal that I prepared myself.
My animals are doing good. The cats still hate Sydney’s guts. It will be a very long time till they learn to tolerate each other. But at least Sydney does not have any new wounds on her face from the cats haha. Sydney has almost doubled in size since I brought her home. And has gained over twelve pounds which is wonderful considering how thin she was. And as for the horse I have officially changed his name. I realized when I named him I didn’t give any thought to his name and just gave him a quick name that I came up with on the spot. So with some major thinking I have changed him name to Ferris after one of my favorite movies “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”. Now he has a new name and a new attitude which is wonderful news for me. He is really coming around and I’m starting to fall in love with him finally. I did not think I can love another horse after I lost Fen. But it is slowly happening.
Today is black Friday. Which it the most hectic holiday shopping day of the year. People get up at the crack of dawn and shop till they drop, or shop till their credit cards are maxed out. Either way it’s a lot of shopping. I try to do most of my shopping online to avoid all the mayhem. Which for the most part works. But I find myself in a mall for the forgotten things. People are just nuts around this time of year.
Well things are starting to look up for me. But I still wish I was in LA. Oh well.
Talk to y’all later.
Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving I went shopping for all of my dinner ingredients with Robby’s mom. I actually was a fun experience (minus the multiple people that slammed into my arm at the store). We went back to Robby’s dad’s condo (he has a way better kitchen then I do) and prepped some of the food. I had a pretty fun time and it made me forget about some of the crappy things that have been happening to me.
Our Thanksgiving feast consisted of: Sweet and sour meatballs, homemade oven baked macaroni and cheese, garlic and cream cheese mashed potatoes, corn, rolls, and a salad. It was not your traditional Thanksgiving feast, But who cares! It was wonderful! And let’s not forget my homemade peanut butter cookies that were fabulous! It was a great meal and my fist holiday meal that I prepared myself.
My animals are doing good. The cats still hate Sydney’s guts. It will be a very long time till they learn to tolerate each other. But at least Sydney does not have any new wounds on her face from the cats haha. Sydney has almost doubled in size since I brought her home. And has gained over twelve pounds which is wonderful considering how thin she was. And as for the horse I have officially changed his name. I realized when I named him I didn’t give any thought to his name and just gave him a quick name that I came up with on the spot. So with some major thinking I have changed him name to Ferris after one of my favorite movies “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off”. Now he has a new name and a new attitude which is wonderful news for me. He is really coming around and I’m starting to fall in love with him finally. I did not think I can love another horse after I lost Fen. But it is slowly happening.
Today is black Friday. Which it the most hectic holiday shopping day of the year. People get up at the crack of dawn and shop till they drop, or shop till their credit cards are maxed out. Either way it’s a lot of shopping. I try to do most of my shopping online to avoid all the mayhem. Which for the most part works. But I find myself in a mall for the forgotten things. People are just nuts around this time of year.
Well things are starting to look up for me. But I still wish I was in LA. Oh well.
Talk to y’all later.
Monday, November 15, 2010
It’s Beginning To Look a lot Like The Holidays
Hello. Nothing interesting going on with me. My mood is improving though. I am not as depressed as I have been lately. I still miss Fen dearly. It has been over two months since I have lost him. Feels longer then that though. December would have been our two year anniversary together. I remember I got him exactly a week before Christmas. Ok enough with that before I get myself upset again.
But I seriously am starting to get the holiday fever. The other day when Robby and I were marketing I bought some fat free egg nog ice cream. I bet I was the first and only person at the store that would buy that haha. I see all the decorations all around me and it is driving me nuts. It is way to early to be this exited about Christmas. I just want it to be December already since so many things are happening that month. I am taking my driving test for the fourth time December 8th. And I am very nervous about it. But I have a strange feeling that this time I have it in the bag. I am by no means a bad driver, Robby can vouch for me. I just get really nervous when I take tests. I freeze up, end of story.
Then I am leaving December 22nd to see my friends and family in Los Angeles. I am supper exited that I am about to burst at the seams. I am bummed though that Robby will not get to go since he has to work. And I will be away from him, Sydney and Kooper for over five days. And since I have been living up here, they are all I have. But I am going to enjoy myself for sure.
Petco has dropped the ball again with my training. I am now almost nearly done with my workbook. I should have started my dog training instructor classes like over a month ago. I have no clue what’s going on. This would be a perfect job for me if they would freaking just start my training already. The bills won’t pay themselves. So I guess I will start my job hunt again. I just hope I get a job that I will enjoy somewhat. We shall see where that goes.
Toodles
But I seriously am starting to get the holiday fever. The other day when Robby and I were marketing I bought some fat free egg nog ice cream. I bet I was the first and only person at the store that would buy that haha. I see all the decorations all around me and it is driving me nuts. It is way to early to be this exited about Christmas. I just want it to be December already since so many things are happening that month. I am taking my driving test for the fourth time December 8th. And I am very nervous about it. But I have a strange feeling that this time I have it in the bag. I am by no means a bad driver, Robby can vouch for me. I just get really nervous when I take tests. I freeze up, end of story.
Then I am leaving December 22nd to see my friends and family in Los Angeles. I am supper exited that I am about to burst at the seams. I am bummed though that Robby will not get to go since he has to work. And I will be away from him, Sydney and Kooper for over five days. And since I have been living up here, they are all I have. But I am going to enjoy myself for sure.
Petco has dropped the ball again with my training. I am now almost nearly done with my workbook. I should have started my dog training instructor classes like over a month ago. I have no clue what’s going on. This would be a perfect job for me if they would freaking just start my training already. The bills won’t pay themselves. So I guess I will start my job hunt again. I just hope I get a job that I will enjoy somewhat. We shall see where that goes.
Toodles
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Bleh
Well I wish I had more to report of all the things going on in my life but I really do not. Nothing has really changed. But I thought it was still necessary to blog about it since I have not written anything in over a week.
Only exiting thing is that I found a dog park that is a little over a mile away from my apartment. So if the weather permits I can take Sydney there to play and escape the many hours alone and bored in my apartment.
I still feel like I am all alone up here. I still have no friends or anything. And basically I have no family since Rob’s parents are so busy. And I am dead broke. And because of that I have not been to weightwatchers in two weeks. But I am still following the program at home. I am saving every spare dime I can get to buy Christmas presents for my family. Petco has not called me in over two weeks so I still have no clue what is going on there. Sigh.
I really wish I had something more interesting to say. I did however get my tickets to visit LA during Christmas time. So I am looking forward to that ever so much!
Well I guess that is it for today.
Only exiting thing is that I found a dog park that is a little over a mile away from my apartment. So if the weather permits I can take Sydney there to play and escape the many hours alone and bored in my apartment.
I still feel like I am all alone up here. I still have no friends or anything. And basically I have no family since Rob’s parents are so busy. And I am dead broke. And because of that I have not been to weightwatchers in two weeks. But I am still following the program at home. I am saving every spare dime I can get to buy Christmas presents for my family. Petco has not called me in over two weeks so I still have no clue what is going on there. Sigh.
I really wish I had something more interesting to say. I did however get my tickets to visit LA during Christmas time. So I am looking forward to that ever so much!
Well I guess that is it for today.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Christmas in October
Yeah it is that time of year again. Time to start my holiday shopping. Wait! Isn’t it just barely Halloween? Well I would not be able to tell by the Christmas commercials and decorations I am seeing. I went to the craft store about a week ago just to look around. And what do I see? All of the Halloween stuff was already being discounted to 50% off and the rest of it was being put away. And of course all the Christmas stuff was coming out and being displayed.
Then on Tuesday Robby and I went to a local tack store so I could get a couple new brushes for Kooper. Well there was not one Halloween thing out. Yep, you guessed it. It was all Christmas stuff! Do not get me wrong, I love Christmas. It is my favorite Holiday. But I do not even want to think about it till at least after thanksgiving.
When I was younger, I loved Christmas because of the presents of course! I was a spoiled rotten child who almost got everything I wanted. I hate admitting that but it is very true. I do not come from a wealthy family. Somehow, my parents always managed to make my Christmas fantastic.
Now I love Christmas because it’s one of the only times my closest family members are all together under one roof. And It is an awesome feeling. We all get together and chat, laugh, play video games and of course eat. But it’s also a great time to catch up and see what everyone else is up to.
This year I am flying up to SoCal to visit my family and friends for a couple days, and more than ever I am really excited about it. I am bummed because Robby has to stay up here and work. But I really need this and he understands and respects that.
Ok, enough with the holiday babbling. Jeez you see what I mean? I probably would have not even written this blog if it weren’t for society’s obsession with Christmas.
Ill update about what happens with Kooper and the farrier tomorrow. I pray that it all just goes smoothly………
Then on Tuesday Robby and I went to a local tack store so I could get a couple new brushes for Kooper. Well there was not one Halloween thing out. Yep, you guessed it. It was all Christmas stuff! Do not get me wrong, I love Christmas. It is my favorite Holiday. But I do not even want to think about it till at least after thanksgiving.
When I was younger, I loved Christmas because of the presents of course! I was a spoiled rotten child who almost got everything I wanted. I hate admitting that but it is very true. I do not come from a wealthy family. Somehow, my parents always managed to make my Christmas fantastic.
Now I love Christmas because it’s one of the only times my closest family members are all together under one roof. And It is an awesome feeling. We all get together and chat, laugh, play video games and of course eat. But it’s also a great time to catch up and see what everyone else is up to.
This year I am flying up to SoCal to visit my family and friends for a couple days, and more than ever I am really excited about it. I am bummed because Robby has to stay up here and work. But I really need this and he understands and respects that.
Ok, enough with the holiday babbling. Jeez you see what I mean? I probably would have not even written this blog if it weren’t for society’s obsession with Christmas.
Ill update about what happens with Kooper and the farrier tomorrow. I pray that it all just goes smoothly………
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Making Something Out of Nothing
Well I have not posted in about a week or so. My mom saw my blog and basically disapproved of the idea of sharing my thoughts online. So I guess I shied away from my blog for a few days. But then I realized that I really like blogging because I can vent about the stuff that is going on with me without directly annoying and bothering my loved ones. So I will continue to blog whether people like it or not.
Last time I posted I wrote about Kooper’s melt down with the farrier. And how he pitched a fit if the farrier even thought about getting near him. I mentioned that I wanted to get rid of him because I did not feel like dealing with this kind of thing. I realized that it is not Kooper’s fault that he is scared of the Farrier. Someone obviously did something horrible to him to make him that scared. So I will give him a few more chances. He is a sweet horse who has a lot of potential to make a dam good all around horse one day. So my new goal is to have him nicely riding by Christmas.
So on that note I have scheduled a vet to come out to sedate him this Friday so the farrier can do his job. If this is what I have to do for a while then that’s what I have to do….The vet will show me how to do it and give me the sedation stuff so I don’t have to call the vet every time I need the farrier. I know some people would call this a short cut due to lack of training. He is perfect in every other way. I will work with him even more and little by little get him weaned of the sedation.
Well Petco is finally getting their stuff together and I am finally on my way to becoming a dog trainer! Well almost. I finished my workbooks so now I just have to wait around to find out when I get to work with my mentor. And I may not have to go all the way to Napa to do it (Napa is forty-five minutes away from where I live). They might have a trainer that can mentor me that is in my neighborhood! The only thing is I will be the first person that she has ever mentored. I actually think that that is kind of cool. So we will basically be learning together.
Yesterday Robby and I took Sydney to the dog park. It was so much fun to watch her run around like a maniac! She made some new doggie friends. She was so good.
Nothing exiting is really happening other then the things mentioned above. I still miss everyone in LA like crazy. The funny thing is now Robby is complaining about being up here and talking about how much he wants to move back. Kinda funny how he was the one who really pushed us to move up here. We have been talking about maybe moving back next year. I am secretly praying that that actually happens. Who knows?
Last time I posted I wrote about Kooper’s melt down with the farrier. And how he pitched a fit if the farrier even thought about getting near him. I mentioned that I wanted to get rid of him because I did not feel like dealing with this kind of thing. I realized that it is not Kooper’s fault that he is scared of the Farrier. Someone obviously did something horrible to him to make him that scared. So I will give him a few more chances. He is a sweet horse who has a lot of potential to make a dam good all around horse one day. So my new goal is to have him nicely riding by Christmas.
So on that note I have scheduled a vet to come out to sedate him this Friday so the farrier can do his job. If this is what I have to do for a while then that’s what I have to do….The vet will show me how to do it and give me the sedation stuff so I don’t have to call the vet every time I need the farrier. I know some people would call this a short cut due to lack of training. He is perfect in every other way. I will work with him even more and little by little get him weaned of the sedation.
Well Petco is finally getting their stuff together and I am finally on my way to becoming a dog trainer! Well almost. I finished my workbooks so now I just have to wait around to find out when I get to work with my mentor. And I may not have to go all the way to Napa to do it (Napa is forty-five minutes away from where I live). They might have a trainer that can mentor me that is in my neighborhood! The only thing is I will be the first person that she has ever mentored. I actually think that that is kind of cool. So we will basically be learning together.
Yesterday Robby and I took Sydney to the dog park. It was so much fun to watch her run around like a maniac! She made some new doggie friends. She was so good.
Nothing exiting is really happening other then the things mentioned above. I still miss everyone in LA like crazy. The funny thing is now Robby is complaining about being up here and talking about how much he wants to move back. Kinda funny how he was the one who really pushed us to move up here. We have been talking about maybe moving back next year. I am secretly praying that that actually happens. Who knows?
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Stick a Fork In Me, I’m Done
I am really honestly praying that something amazing is about to happen to me because all these bad things keep happening.
Yesterday was the day that Kooper was suppose to get new shoes so that I can continue his training him and not have to worry about his feet getting chipped and stuff like that. Well I now know why he was free. He was an absolute spawn of Satan for the farrier. I do not think he could have acted any worse if he tried. I’m not dramatizing either. He was slamming and pinning me and the fairrier into walls, rearing up and flipping over, knocking at the equipment all over the place. The list goes on. After trying and failing for over an hour the Farrier called it quits, I wanted to call it quits sooner but he kept trying, God bless his heart. We both could have been killed….or seriously injured.
The farrier said that I could pay a vet to come out and give him tranquilizers so that he would be drugged to get his shoes. But that is an expensive route to go, especially if I do that every two months. I am at a huge loss here. I can now not trust this horse. I just do not know what he will do from this point on.
The weird thing is Kooper seems so sweet and so calm and has been a dream to train up until the farrier came. I saw such hatred in his eyes. I have never seen that mean look on a horse ever. I thought I had a nice little bond going with him, But I guess I jumped the gun there. I have a lot going on with dog training school coming up and I just do not know if I have the time to deal with these kind of issues with a horse. A project is one thing, But after yesterday I think he is beyond a project. If I had my own horse property and a lot of time I would totally, no doubt keep him and work it out. But I am not making very much money right now, So if I’m going to poor all that money into a horse, I at least want to be able to ride it and enjoy it. So I am now trying to find Kooper a good home. I am not looking for any money, just a good home for him, who has the time to work this issue out.
And once Kooper is re homed I guess ill look for my new equine friend. I just cannot live without having my own horse or I will absolutely be the biggest bitch in the whole world and be more depressed then I already am.
Which brings me to my next point. I know a good friend of mine in Los Angeles who has a horse named “Dreamz” that I used ride all the time for the while that I was horseless. I really love that horse and thought I had a nice connection with him. He was a blast to ride and often used to fantasize about owning him. Well I emailed her the other day and asked if she would sell him to me. She said she would get back to me. I really pray that Kooper can find A home and that I can get Dreamz. He would be an ideal horse to have as my companion.
With all this going on it makes me really depressed about Fenamore. I feel like I am losing him all over again. I know that sounds dumb, but I feel so empty right now. I just hope that things will get better really quickly.
Yesterday was the day that Kooper was suppose to get new shoes so that I can continue his training him and not have to worry about his feet getting chipped and stuff like that. Well I now know why he was free. He was an absolute spawn of Satan for the farrier. I do not think he could have acted any worse if he tried. I’m not dramatizing either. He was slamming and pinning me and the fairrier into walls, rearing up and flipping over, knocking at the equipment all over the place. The list goes on. After trying and failing for over an hour the Farrier called it quits, I wanted to call it quits sooner but he kept trying, God bless his heart. We both could have been killed….or seriously injured.
The farrier said that I could pay a vet to come out and give him tranquilizers so that he would be drugged to get his shoes. But that is an expensive route to go, especially if I do that every two months. I am at a huge loss here. I can now not trust this horse. I just do not know what he will do from this point on.
The weird thing is Kooper seems so sweet and so calm and has been a dream to train up until the farrier came. I saw such hatred in his eyes. I have never seen that mean look on a horse ever. I thought I had a nice little bond going with him, But I guess I jumped the gun there. I have a lot going on with dog training school coming up and I just do not know if I have the time to deal with these kind of issues with a horse. A project is one thing, But after yesterday I think he is beyond a project. If I had my own horse property and a lot of time I would totally, no doubt keep him and work it out. But I am not making very much money right now, So if I’m going to poor all that money into a horse, I at least want to be able to ride it and enjoy it. So I am now trying to find Kooper a good home. I am not looking for any money, just a good home for him, who has the time to work this issue out.
And once Kooper is re homed I guess ill look for my new equine friend. I just cannot live without having my own horse or I will absolutely be the biggest bitch in the whole world and be more depressed then I already am.
Which brings me to my next point. I know a good friend of mine in Los Angeles who has a horse named “Dreamz” that I used ride all the time for the while that I was horseless. I really love that horse and thought I had a nice connection with him. He was a blast to ride and often used to fantasize about owning him. Well I emailed her the other day and asked if she would sell him to me. She said she would get back to me. I really pray that Kooper can find A home and that I can get Dreamz. He would be an ideal horse to have as my companion.
With all this going on it makes me really depressed about Fenamore. I feel like I am losing him all over again. I know that sounds dumb, but I feel so empty right now. I just hope that things will get better really quickly.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Running on Empty
Well it has been a rough couple of months for me. The whole moving up here thing and losing the sunshine of my life. Adjusting to a completely new life.
I think its really funny how when I was living in Los Angeles, I was constantly complaining about the lack of friends I have and the lack of support some of them gave me. Well now that I am up here, I realized what I had down there. I really truly had a wonderful small circle of friends that I miss so much now. I also had a really awesome family. Yeah they may have been judgmental and opinionated. Nevertheless, they were always there for me through thick and thin.
Up here, I really do not have any friends at all. I met a few people at the ranch but they have all been friends for years and I am not sure they will just let a new comer in the group right away. I have Rob’s parents. And I know they love me. However, they both have jobs and their own lives and it is not quite the same.
I am just supper bummed these days. I feel like I just ran out of has or something. I have moments where I’m happy and feeling ok. But I don’t have any whole good days anymore. Either I am missing Fenamore or I’m missing my friends and family back in LA. Hell I am even missing my Kennel Job! If you go back and read my old post from 09 you would understand how much I Disliked liked that job. But I realize now that I actually liked the job, Working with dogs ect. I just did not like my boss.
Ok enough babbling. Petco called back. And they want to start my training soon. I was kind of hoping that the other pet store would call back before Petco. It is all a huge mess. I guess since I already put in the hours for the in store training, I should just go ahead and do the training. Plus ill have certification in dog training that I can take anywhere. It’s a cool think to have, and a neat profession to get into, and I do love dogs to death. But I feel that my true passion is in horses…
In all of this craziness, at least I still have my animals for a laugh. Sydney is doing great. She is just the coolest little dog I have ever met. So smart and so silly. In addition, my cats are still as crazy and annoying as ever. I Love my little zoo. Right now my animals are what keeps me going.
Hopefully something will change soon….
I think its really funny how when I was living in Los Angeles, I was constantly complaining about the lack of friends I have and the lack of support some of them gave me. Well now that I am up here, I realized what I had down there. I really truly had a wonderful small circle of friends that I miss so much now. I also had a really awesome family. Yeah they may have been judgmental and opinionated. Nevertheless, they were always there for me through thick and thin.
Up here, I really do not have any friends at all. I met a few people at the ranch but they have all been friends for years and I am not sure they will just let a new comer in the group right away. I have Rob’s parents. And I know they love me. However, they both have jobs and their own lives and it is not quite the same.
I am just supper bummed these days. I feel like I just ran out of has or something. I have moments where I’m happy and feeling ok. But I don’t have any whole good days anymore. Either I am missing Fenamore or I’m missing my friends and family back in LA. Hell I am even missing my Kennel Job! If you go back and read my old post from 09 you would understand how much I Disliked liked that job. But I realize now that I actually liked the job, Working with dogs ect. I just did not like my boss.
Ok enough babbling. Petco called back. And they want to start my training soon. I was kind of hoping that the other pet store would call back before Petco. It is all a huge mess. I guess since I already put in the hours for the in store training, I should just go ahead and do the training. Plus ill have certification in dog training that I can take anywhere. It’s a cool think to have, and a neat profession to get into, and I do love dogs to death. But I feel that my true passion is in horses…
In all of this craziness, at least I still have my animals for a laugh. Sydney is doing great. She is just the coolest little dog I have ever met. So smart and so silly. In addition, my cats are still as crazy and annoying as ever. I Love my little zoo. Right now my animals are what keeps me going.
Hopefully something will change soon….
Sunday, October 17, 2010
It’s a Dog Eat Dog World Out There
Well the secret is out. I would like to introduce my new puppy Sydney! We have had her almost two weeks now! We wanted to wait and see if she would work with our little zoo before we announced it to the world. And she is for sure here to stay!
She is a Staffordshire bull terrier, hound, whippet,lab mix. Really she is just a all American mutt. And she sure is a gem! Although we have only had her a short while I am already in love with this little girl. We got her from a lady who was training her to be a seizure alert dog. And she did not make the cut. The lady meant well but if she did not find her a home she would have taken her to the pound. So she came home with us!
She certainly has been a blessing to me and is helping me get through some hard times. So I am really thankful to have her. She is such a goofball and makes me laugh constantly. She also loves the cats (a little too much). But they certainly do not care for her at all lol.
Anyway Kooper still has not gotten his new shoes yet. So we are keeping his work load light so he does not do anymore damage to his hoof. But we due have a date with a shoer hopefully next week. I have a silly goal. I want to have him riding by Halloween because on that day there is a playday. And I really want to ride him in it. I know this sounds like a bad idea. But we shall see how that goes. I did get on him yesterday and he was so calm. So i have hope...
I ended up going to that job interview for that other pet store. I think it went really well and I enjoyed talking to the manager. I am still waiting for a call back though. Its been a few days so I am getting pretty nervous about it as I need money very badly. When I had to send Fen to greener pastures I blew through my savings account to do that whole process. Doing the right thing is definitely not cheap. I still miss him so much! I think it will be that way for a while though…
And on top of that I am horribly homesick still. Part of me thinks that I will never get over it and that my heart will always be in southern CA. Sometimes I think if I should have through about it some more before I did the big move. I think I may have jumped the gun a little bit. Robby had his heart set on moving out here so badly. What could I have done. He said he had nothing to lose since he didn’t have many friends down there and since his parents live up here. Well I certainly had a lot to lose…. And I’m living with my choice every day. I love Robby to death. But did I put love before my own sanity?
I hope that Ill get a grip on my reality soon…
Oh and here is a picture of little miss Sydney!
She is a Staffordshire bull terrier, hound, whippet,lab mix. Really she is just a all American mutt. And she sure is a gem! Although we have only had her a short while I am already in love with this little girl. We got her from a lady who was training her to be a seizure alert dog. And she did not make the cut. The lady meant well but if she did not find her a home she would have taken her to the pound. So she came home with us!
She certainly has been a blessing to me and is helping me get through some hard times. So I am really thankful to have her. She is such a goofball and makes me laugh constantly. She also loves the cats (a little too much). But they certainly do not care for her at all lol.
Anyway Kooper still has not gotten his new shoes yet. So we are keeping his work load light so he does not do anymore damage to his hoof. But we due have a date with a shoer hopefully next week. I have a silly goal. I want to have him riding by Halloween because on that day there is a playday. And I really want to ride him in it. I know this sounds like a bad idea. But we shall see how that goes. I did get on him yesterday and he was so calm. So i have hope...
I ended up going to that job interview for that other pet store. I think it went really well and I enjoyed talking to the manager. I am still waiting for a call back though. Its been a few days so I am getting pretty nervous about it as I need money very badly. When I had to send Fen to greener pastures I blew through my savings account to do that whole process. Doing the right thing is definitely not cheap. I still miss him so much! I think it will be that way for a while though…
And on top of that I am horribly homesick still. Part of me thinks that I will never get over it and that my heart will always be in southern CA. Sometimes I think if I should have through about it some more before I did the big move. I think I may have jumped the gun a little bit. Robby had his heart set on moving out here so badly. What could I have done. He said he had nothing to lose since he didn’t have many friends down there and since his parents live up here. Well I certainly had a lot to lose…. And I’m living with my choice every day. I love Robby to death. But did I put love before my own sanity?
I hope that Ill get a grip on my reality soon…
Oh and here is a picture of little miss Sydney!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
The Good, The Bad, and The Crap in Between
Rule of thumb: When something good happens, some bad is going to happen right around the corner. Or Vice versa. It works both ways. As I have mentioned before I got hired to work at Petco. I was supposed to be a dual associate. Meaning I would be a dog trainer and work the store. I have done all my in store training just need to do my dog training. But the thing is I have not gotten called in over a week. And whenever I call my boss he is just totally clueless and has no answers for me. Even though I am trained to work in the store, they really have no place for me until I can teach dog-training classes. Which I cannot do until I am trained to do so.
I am getting really irritated with this company. When Petco first called me in for an interview I was really excited because I really wanted an animal related job. When my boss was telling me about all the things I would get to lean and the benefits I would get I was really happy. I was originally suppose to get a full time position and make $9 per hours. Which is less then I made at the kennel but at least it wasn’t at the bottom. He hired me right there on the spot.
When I went in a week later the boss then went on to tell me that he could only afford to pay me $8.75. I was bummed but I quickly got over it. Then I found out it was only part time. This is also ok because I would have more time with Kooper. But he was talking twenty or less hours which is nothing.
So from the get go Its been nothing but crap from this company. Last I heard of them they told me they would call me back when they knew when I would start my dog training school.
So with all of that Robby and I thought it would be a good idea for me to look for another job just in case. So I applied at another pet store in the area. I have always liked that store. So I go in and talk to the manager and turn in a application. He calls me the next day for an interview for the following week. I call him back a couple hours later and he was already out for the day. So I waited yesterday for a call. And nothing…..Then I call again today and the manager is out yet again. What the heck? But the other manager calls me and sets me up with an interview. So we will see where that will lead me.
I have no clue if I even still have a job at Petco. We will see next week what happens with all of this. Who knows right? I remember I originally moved down here for a job at a ranch. That went out the window quickly…
Anyway at least there is some good. Kooper’s foot is better. Almost ready to be ridden again. Just needs his shoe out back on and he is ready to go. And as for my secret I mentioned the other day. She is doing good as well hehehe, Ill mention what she is on another day.
Even with all this crap happening I’m hanging in there. I am still really really homesick and miss my friends and family a lot! But my little blessing/secret brings out the better in me. That combined with one silly sweet horse and one hell of a boyfriend. Hopefully things will balance out over time.
I am getting really irritated with this company. When Petco first called me in for an interview I was really excited because I really wanted an animal related job. When my boss was telling me about all the things I would get to lean and the benefits I would get I was really happy. I was originally suppose to get a full time position and make $9 per hours. Which is less then I made at the kennel but at least it wasn’t at the bottom. He hired me right there on the spot.
When I went in a week later the boss then went on to tell me that he could only afford to pay me $8.75. I was bummed but I quickly got over it. Then I found out it was only part time. This is also ok because I would have more time with Kooper. But he was talking twenty or less hours which is nothing.
So from the get go Its been nothing but crap from this company. Last I heard of them they told me they would call me back when they knew when I would start my dog training school.
So with all of that Robby and I thought it would be a good idea for me to look for another job just in case. So I applied at another pet store in the area. I have always liked that store. So I go in and talk to the manager and turn in a application. He calls me the next day for an interview for the following week. I call him back a couple hours later and he was already out for the day. So I waited yesterday for a call. And nothing…..Then I call again today and the manager is out yet again. What the heck? But the other manager calls me and sets me up with an interview. So we will see where that will lead me.
I have no clue if I even still have a job at Petco. We will see next week what happens with all of this. Who knows right? I remember I originally moved down here for a job at a ranch. That went out the window quickly…
Anyway at least there is some good. Kooper’s foot is better. Almost ready to be ridden again. Just needs his shoe out back on and he is ready to go. And as for my secret I mentioned the other day. She is doing good as well hehehe, Ill mention what she is on another day.
Even with all this crap happening I’m hanging in there. I am still really really homesick and miss my friends and family a lot! But my little blessing/secret brings out the better in me. That combined with one silly sweet horse and one hell of a boyfriend. Hopefully things will balance out over time.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
One Big Happy Family
Well I did it finally. I moved Kooper to the new ranch to the new ranch last Saturday. It is really nice there and possibly the biggest ranch I have ever boarded at.
Kooper is in a huge dry lot pasture that is probably more than an acre or so. He shares it with four other really cute horses. And he even has a buddy that he follows around all the time. He even befriended the alpha male of the herd. I guess he learned that a little ass-kissing can go a long way lol.
Even though the ranch is so big and there are many different cliques, it still has that family feel to it. I have been bless in my life to have that “happy family” feeling at a couple of my ranches in the past. I have met some really cool people that offered to ride with me when Kooper is ready. And I made some friends. Which makes me feel so good. I have been horribly homesick lately but this is helping me so much!
Kooper is such a neat horse. I love learning more about him every time I see him. I cannot work him to hard since he is missing a shoe and getting a bruise. But I still love just being around him. And its so cute because he just adores Robby! Robby has always been involved with my horses, but for some reason he clicks with Kooper. One thing that’s really cool is if I go into the pasture and call his name he comes trotting up to me and stops right in front of my feet. And then he puts his head down and waits for me to halter him.
On another note I have a little secret! Don’t worry its nothing bad. In fact it Is one reason why my mood is changing a little bit. Hehe. I’m not going to say anything just yet. Only people who know is Robby and a couple of friends. So in time you will all get to know.
Well I’m hungry and I have a cat on my lap So I will be going now
Toodles
Kooper is in a huge dry lot pasture that is probably more than an acre or so. He shares it with four other really cute horses. And he even has a buddy that he follows around all the time. He even befriended the alpha male of the herd. I guess he learned that a little ass-kissing can go a long way lol.
Even though the ranch is so big and there are many different cliques, it still has that family feel to it. I have been bless in my life to have that “happy family” feeling at a couple of my ranches in the past. I have met some really cool people that offered to ride with me when Kooper is ready. And I made some friends. Which makes me feel so good. I have been horribly homesick lately but this is helping me so much!
Kooper is such a neat horse. I love learning more about him every time I see him. I cannot work him to hard since he is missing a shoe and getting a bruise. But I still love just being around him. And its so cute because he just adores Robby! Robby has always been involved with my horses, but for some reason he clicks with Kooper. One thing that’s really cool is if I go into the pasture and call his name he comes trotting up to me and stops right in front of my feet. And then he puts his head down and waits for me to halter him.
On another note I have a little secret! Don’t worry its nothing bad. In fact it Is one reason why my mood is changing a little bit. Hehe. I’m not going to say anything just yet. Only people who know is Robby and a couple of friends. So in time you will all get to know.
Well I’m hungry and I have a cat on my lap So I will be going now
Toodles
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Losing The Sparkle in My Eye
I keep going back and forth about my feelings on moving up here. One minute I am so happy! I look at Robby and just see that he is happier here. Then I think about how lonely I truly am.
This is all things I just have to get use to I guess. I know ill eventually make friends and not be trapped in this mental prison. But eventually feels like an eternity.
Yesterday I got on Kooper for the first time in a couple weeks. I had Robby lead him around just in case. I practiced stopping and moving forward and he was perfect. I kept feeling guilty the whole time I was riding him because of how fat I am. Uhhh yuck. But he did amazing and I see his potential shining through!
Today was kind of a boring day. I spent some time with Robby’s mom which is always nice. But I still felt so empty inside. I spent almost the whole day doing laundry at Robby’s mom’s place. I thought it would be a good idea to do it there since it would be free. But since I did not have the ability to use multiple machines at once, It took me nearly all day. We ended up barely finishing it as the day light was turning in for the day. Which means I failed at getting Kooper worked. It was totally almost dark by the time I finished and I don’t feel safe going at our ranch at night, even with Robby there. I better not miss any more ranch days for a while or this horse will never get trained. I really hope that this did not mess up the progress I have made in the past couple of days.
With the horse not getting worked, It made me feel like a failure. Then I started to dwell on other things that make me feel like a failure, such as my current weight. I am really slowly getting back to being on the obese side. I go on facebook and see pictures of all my naturally skinny friends and it makes me sad. I also look at Robby who can eat whatever he wants and I turn green with envy. Yet I think about eating a burger and I gain 5 pounds. I keep trying to diet and do online programs. But none of it works for me. The only thing that ever worked and gave me confidence was going in for weekly weight watchers meetings. I would love to start doing that again but I need a reliable ride to make the same meeting every week. And I am going to make it work even if I have to take the bus! And I hate taking the bus alone….
On another note I just can’t stop thinking about owning a dog. I am truly a dog person! Always have been. Every time I see someone walking a dog my heart melts and then I feel sad because I want one so badly. I would give anything to have one! I would feel so much better if I had a dog. I know it would not solve all my emotional issues I am having right now. But I would feel SO MUCH BETTER! And there definitely would be a spring in my step. Dear God if you are there, please bless me with a canine friend. I would be eternally grateful and happy. I will do anything for a dog!
Anyway I am going to bed.
Hopefully I’ll wake up and there will be a puppy on my doorstep...
sigh
This is all things I just have to get use to I guess. I know ill eventually make friends and not be trapped in this mental prison. But eventually feels like an eternity.
Yesterday I got on Kooper for the first time in a couple weeks. I had Robby lead him around just in case. I practiced stopping and moving forward and he was perfect. I kept feeling guilty the whole time I was riding him because of how fat I am. Uhhh yuck. But he did amazing and I see his potential shining through!
Today was kind of a boring day. I spent some time with Robby’s mom which is always nice. But I still felt so empty inside. I spent almost the whole day doing laundry at Robby’s mom’s place. I thought it would be a good idea to do it there since it would be free. But since I did not have the ability to use multiple machines at once, It took me nearly all day. We ended up barely finishing it as the day light was turning in for the day. Which means I failed at getting Kooper worked. It was totally almost dark by the time I finished and I don’t feel safe going at our ranch at night, even with Robby there. I better not miss any more ranch days for a while or this horse will never get trained. I really hope that this did not mess up the progress I have made in the past couple of days.
With the horse not getting worked, It made me feel like a failure. Then I started to dwell on other things that make me feel like a failure, such as my current weight. I am really slowly getting back to being on the obese side. I go on facebook and see pictures of all my naturally skinny friends and it makes me sad. I also look at Robby who can eat whatever he wants and I turn green with envy. Yet I think about eating a burger and I gain 5 pounds. I keep trying to diet and do online programs. But none of it works for me. The only thing that ever worked and gave me confidence was going in for weekly weight watchers meetings. I would love to start doing that again but I need a reliable ride to make the same meeting every week. And I am going to make it work even if I have to take the bus! And I hate taking the bus alone….
On another note I just can’t stop thinking about owning a dog. I am truly a dog person! Always have been. Every time I see someone walking a dog my heart melts and then I feel sad because I want one so badly. I would give anything to have one! I would feel so much better if I had a dog. I know it would not solve all my emotional issues I am having right now. But I would feel SO MUCH BETTER! And there definitely would be a spring in my step. Dear God if you are there, please bless me with a canine friend. I would be eternally grateful and happy. I will do anything for a dog!
Anyway I am going to bed.
Hopefully I’ll wake up and there will be a puppy on my doorstep...
sigh
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
I Think Mother Nature is a Little Confused
Well it is really hot out these days. And the crazy thing is it is a couple days away from being October. And that’s when it is suppose to be cooler out. It has been over ninety-five in the freaking bay area! I live by the coast for heavens’ sake! It should be illegal for it to be this hot by the coast. Anyway this is one of the few times I’m happy I am not in LA. It was over a 113 degrees! Yuck!
And the worst part of all this is that my apartment does not have air conditioning! Who needs air conditioning when you live by the coast? Apparently we do.
Well in all of this heat I still managed to get Kooper worked. Robby and I went there yesterday at around six when it started to cool down. I did some more ground driving. I think it is just about time to start him back under saddle. I just want to wait till he gets his shoe put back on. But we will see. I was so tempted to just hop right on yesterday. He was so calm, he was practically begging for me to hop on lol.
The move to the new ranch is coming up. I am very excited about this. But I did not find a trailer to take me unfortunately so it looks like ill be walking Kooper there. I just hope I do not get lost. As I am new to the area and am still learning how to get places.
Not too much more to report
Not that anyone cares since only four people are subscribed to this blog and two of them are Robby’s accounts lol.
Tata
And the worst part of all this is that my apartment does not have air conditioning! Who needs air conditioning when you live by the coast? Apparently we do.
Well in all of this heat I still managed to get Kooper worked. Robby and I went there yesterday at around six when it started to cool down. I did some more ground driving. I think it is just about time to start him back under saddle. I just want to wait till he gets his shoe put back on. But we will see. I was so tempted to just hop right on yesterday. He was so calm, he was practically begging for me to hop on lol.
The move to the new ranch is coming up. I am very excited about this. But I did not find a trailer to take me unfortunately so it looks like ill be walking Kooper there. I just hope I do not get lost. As I am new to the area and am still learning how to get places.
Not too much more to report
Not that anyone cares since only four people are subscribed to this blog and two of them are Robby’s accounts lol.
Tata
Friday, September 24, 2010
Numb
Well today is a typical boring day for me. I am trapped in my apartment for the day. Not only am I stuck here with nothing to do but I can’t even go on my daily walk because I am waiting for a package that I have to sign for. I do not even have a good time frame. They just said between 10 am to 7pm. Great.
So I am stuck here to stew about how much I miss my friends and family back in LA and how I miss actually having people to go riding with. And od course how much I miss Fen. So this is not very good for my overall moral. I am really bored. So bored I do not feel like doing anything. Weird, I know. Anyway, I feel really numb right now. I say numb because I really cannot feel any kind of emotion right now. I would not say I am really that depressed, but I wouldn’t say I’m happy either. I really hate this feeling.
Anyway, Kooper’s foot is doing much better. He can walk, trot and run around like an idiot. I started ground driving him again, in preparation for starting him under saddle again. He is doing wonderfully and I really cannot wait to ride him on the trail. He seems like he is going to be a really good trail horse. Has a pretty good mind, and when something is bothering him he does not explode like some horses I have been around in the past. He moves to his new ranch next week. Its literally a five minute drive from where he is now. So it should be a fairly easy move for both of us.
So it looks like I will go to dog training school in a couple weeks. I am pretty exited to do this! It’s a really cool opportunity for me. Oh and the cool part is Petco is paying me to go, So I can eventually become the store trainer. Since the other guy goes to school full time and can only work one day a week. Only thing that is ridcolous is that I am going to be a dog trainer without a dog. How stupid is that? Lol.
Anyway I still feel kind of icky but things will get better soon. I hope!
Tata for now!
So I am stuck here to stew about how much I miss my friends and family back in LA and how I miss actually having people to go riding with. And od course how much I miss Fen. So this is not very good for my overall moral. I am really bored. So bored I do not feel like doing anything. Weird, I know. Anyway, I feel really numb right now. I say numb because I really cannot feel any kind of emotion right now. I would not say I am really that depressed, but I wouldn’t say I’m happy either. I really hate this feeling.
Anyway, Kooper’s foot is doing much better. He can walk, trot and run around like an idiot. I started ground driving him again, in preparation for starting him under saddle again. He is doing wonderfully and I really cannot wait to ride him on the trail. He seems like he is going to be a really good trail horse. Has a pretty good mind, and when something is bothering him he does not explode like some horses I have been around in the past. He moves to his new ranch next week. Its literally a five minute drive from where he is now. So it should be a fairly easy move for both of us.
So it looks like I will go to dog training school in a couple weeks. I am pretty exited to do this! It’s a really cool opportunity for me. Oh and the cool part is Petco is paying me to go, So I can eventually become the store trainer. Since the other guy goes to school full time and can only work one day a week. Only thing that is ridcolous is that I am going to be a dog trainer without a dog. How stupid is that? Lol.
Anyway I still feel kind of icky but things will get better soon. I hope!
Tata for now!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
A Little Rain Won’t Ruin My Day!
I have been in quite a funk this past week . Being homesick, lonely, stressed ect. But for some reason I woke up today and decided that none of that mattered and I was going to have a good day. And you know what? And even though it rained (which I normally hate) I had a great day today.
Robby had the day off so that was definitely the icing on the cake because:
A. I love him and love spending time with him, I just love being around him!
B. I do not have to be a lone!
The day started off with us going to the ranch to pick up some of Fen's old tack. I am keeping some to use on Kooper. But some of it was a constant reminder of what was lost... SO we decided to take it to a consignment store. I said hello to Kooper (yes, we spell it with a K instead of a C because we are cool like that!). Poor Kooper is stuck in his stall for a couple days while the cut in his hoof heals a bit. He was very exited to see us, But we were just running in the ranch to grab my stuff. I promised him we would be back later to play with him.
So it was a forty minute drive to the store. I really love driving to that store. I love driving through the farm lands and vineyards. So pretty! Anyway we got there and The lady sorted through my stuff and priced it. We looked around since we were already there. It’s a really neat tack store that has used and new stuff. A girl with my kind of tack addiction could get in trouble in there. But I was good and did not buy a thing.
Then we drove to yet another tack store that was in the area. I saw an add for it on craigslist (local classifieds) and just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It was a very cool store! Lots of colors of all sorts of tack and equipment. Yet another store that I could get in trouble in. But I was proud of myself, I only bought a lead rope and a lime green sponge for bathing.
Then we were on our way back to the ranch to play with Kooper. When we got there we were once again greeted with a friendly nicker. Kooper is actually a very vocal horse. Always neighing and making interesting sounds. Anyway I had to out more duct tape over his bandage since he somehow ripped off the original duct tape. Then I decided to walk him to the covered arena for a supervised turnout. I noticed that he was walking almost perfectly. This definitely brought a smile to my face.
I let him go and the first thing he did was roll in the nice soft dirt. Then he jumped up and did a couple of bucking /running laps. That also made me smile because that has to mean he is feeling better. Then after some play we groomed him a bit, gave him his vitamins , then put him away. Also I am getting extremely excited about moving to the new ranch. I can not wait to be around people and for my horse to be around other horses. Yay!
It was all In all a pretty good day. And I was very happy to spend it with my sweetie pie (Rob). I hope I have a few more of these good days.
Until tomorrow, (or whenever I remember to blog)
bye
Robby had the day off so that was definitely the icing on the cake because:
A. I love him and love spending time with him, I just love being around him!
B. I do not have to be a lone!
The day started off with us going to the ranch to pick up some of Fen's old tack. I am keeping some to use on Kooper. But some of it was a constant reminder of what was lost... SO we decided to take it to a consignment store. I said hello to Kooper (yes, we spell it with a K instead of a C because we are cool like that!). Poor Kooper is stuck in his stall for a couple days while the cut in his hoof heals a bit. He was very exited to see us, But we were just running in the ranch to grab my stuff. I promised him we would be back later to play with him.
So it was a forty minute drive to the store. I really love driving to that store. I love driving through the farm lands and vineyards. So pretty! Anyway we got there and The lady sorted through my stuff and priced it. We looked around since we were already there. It’s a really neat tack store that has used and new stuff. A girl with my kind of tack addiction could get in trouble in there. But I was good and did not buy a thing.
Then we drove to yet another tack store that was in the area. I saw an add for it on craigslist (local classifieds) and just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. It was a very cool store! Lots of colors of all sorts of tack and equipment. Yet another store that I could get in trouble in. But I was proud of myself, I only bought a lead rope and a lime green sponge for bathing.
Then we were on our way back to the ranch to play with Kooper. When we got there we were once again greeted with a friendly nicker. Kooper is actually a very vocal horse. Always neighing and making interesting sounds. Anyway I had to out more duct tape over his bandage since he somehow ripped off the original duct tape. Then I decided to walk him to the covered arena for a supervised turnout. I noticed that he was walking almost perfectly. This definitely brought a smile to my face.
I let him go and the first thing he did was roll in the nice soft dirt. Then he jumped up and did a couple of bucking /running laps. That also made me smile because that has to mean he is feeling better. Then after some play we groomed him a bit, gave him his vitamins , then put him away. Also I am getting extremely excited about moving to the new ranch. I can not wait to be around people and for my horse to be around other horses. Yay!
It was all In all a pretty good day. And I was very happy to spend it with my sweetie pie (Rob). I hope I have a few more of these good days.
Until tomorrow, (or whenever I remember to blog)
bye
Saturday, September 18, 2010
I am starting To See a Tiny Little Light At the End of the Tunnel
Well, the vet came out for Cooper and he is FINE! Not completely fine, he does have the beginnings of a very nasty abscess. The vet thinks the he actually cut his hoof with something very sharp. But the cut was inside the hoof and that’s why I could not see it. The vet had to sedate Cooper and dig some of his hoof out. Then he cleaned it out and wrapped it with cotton and vet wrap. Then he put a layer of duct tape so the bandage would stay on. Also the vet removed Cooper’s shoe and found some bruising as well. So that was a double negative for poor Cooper.
With all of this being said, I am just happy that he is ok and in a week or two he will be back in training! Which I am pretty exited about! Also it means he will be able to move to his new ranch sooner than later. Which is also pretty exciting.
I am still pretty bummed with how my life is going right now. I really miss my dear Fen and my friends and family in Los Angeles. And I am tired of being alone all the freakin’ time. I’m really hoping that when I move to the new ranch I can meet some friends there or at least trail riding buddies. I would totally be fine with just that. I know almost no one up here. And it’s really hard for me to make friends. I just lose my nerve I guess. But once I get acquainted I am fine from that point on. I just have a problem approaching people and breaking the ice. I should study how Cooper makes friends, he seems to have an easier time then I do.
In addition, to all of that I really want a dog! I know that that is random. But I have always grown up with dogs and I miss having one. I have my cats but it is not the same thing. Cats are more independent and take care of themselves. Dogs need you and depend on you to take them to go potty ect. And I kind of like having to take care of a dog. And I feel like I am more connected to dogs. And I find it Ironic that I will be going to dog training school and do not have a dog. But enough with that....
So like I said I am still feeling a little blue. But things are starting to look up for me. So I am going to end this blog on a positive note right now. Because right as this second I look out at my window and I see the sun peeking out from the clouds. And it makes me smile...
Sigh (of relief)
With all of this being said, I am just happy that he is ok and in a week or two he will be back in training! Which I am pretty exited about! Also it means he will be able to move to his new ranch sooner than later. Which is also pretty exciting.
I am still pretty bummed with how my life is going right now. I really miss my dear Fen and my friends and family in Los Angeles. And I am tired of being alone all the freakin’ time. I’m really hoping that when I move to the new ranch I can meet some friends there or at least trail riding buddies. I would totally be fine with just that. I know almost no one up here. And it’s really hard for me to make friends. I just lose my nerve I guess. But once I get acquainted I am fine from that point on. I just have a problem approaching people and breaking the ice. I should study how Cooper makes friends, he seems to have an easier time then I do.
In addition, to all of that I really want a dog! I know that that is random. But I have always grown up with dogs and I miss having one. I have my cats but it is not the same thing. Cats are more independent and take care of themselves. Dogs need you and depend on you to take them to go potty ect. And I kind of like having to take care of a dog. And I feel like I am more connected to dogs. And I find it Ironic that I will be going to dog training school and do not have a dog. But enough with that....
So like I said I am still feeling a little blue. But things are starting to look up for me. So I am going to end this blog on a positive note right now. Because right as this second I look out at my window and I see the sun peeking out from the clouds. And it makes me smile...
Sigh (of relief)
Friday, September 17, 2010
All That I'm After is a Life Full of Laughter
Well I am still feeling blue.
What can I say? I am lonely, bored and I miss all my LA people really bad. And Im still trying to cope with Fen not being here. I still have not made any friends up here. Robby has already made a few friends at his work. I know no one but his parents. And since I do not have my license yet, I am stuck at the apartment all day by myself unless its Robby's day off or his parents are free to drive me somewhere which these days is rare.
I only go in to Petco once a week for my training, so I have not really had anytime to get to know any of the people that work there.
I feel a little bit worse every day. I am trying really hard to hide it from Robby because I don't want him to worry about me or anything. I have gotten myself down before but this has to be one of the worst times for me.
As for my diet, its failing miserably right now. I fell off the wagon yet again. its just hard to be healthy when you feel mentally unhealthy you know? Maybe I am just meant to be a fatass.
I just want to be happy and be able to laugh again and actually mean it. I know I can get through this. But at the moment it feels hopeless.
The vet is coming out tomorrow to check out Cooper and see what the heck is making him lame. I really hope that it is something that can be fixed and won't cost a billion dollars. If something happens to this horse I have no clue how Ill be able to handle it. He is so young and it would suck if it were something that would haunt him the rest of his life.
I visited Cooper yesterday like I always do. And he was bright and happy to see us as usual. But still Lame. I took him to the arena and made him do some ground work to see if maybe it is something he works out of. Nope still dead lame. We shall see what the vet says tomorrow. When I find out if he can be helped or not Ill decide what day I am going to move him to the new ranch.
I guess ill spend the rest of the day watching tv. nothing else to really do.
I noticed that the clouds are grey today. I guess it matches my mood today.
Sigh
What can I say? I am lonely, bored and I miss all my LA people really bad. And Im still trying to cope with Fen not being here. I still have not made any friends up here. Robby has already made a few friends at his work. I know no one but his parents. And since I do not have my license yet, I am stuck at the apartment all day by myself unless its Robby's day off or his parents are free to drive me somewhere which these days is rare.
I only go in to Petco once a week for my training, so I have not really had anytime to get to know any of the people that work there.
I feel a little bit worse every day. I am trying really hard to hide it from Robby because I don't want him to worry about me or anything. I have gotten myself down before but this has to be one of the worst times for me.
As for my diet, its failing miserably right now. I fell off the wagon yet again. its just hard to be healthy when you feel mentally unhealthy you know? Maybe I am just meant to be a fatass.
I just want to be happy and be able to laugh again and actually mean it. I know I can get through this. But at the moment it feels hopeless.
The vet is coming out tomorrow to check out Cooper and see what the heck is making him lame. I really hope that it is something that can be fixed and won't cost a billion dollars. If something happens to this horse I have no clue how Ill be able to handle it. He is so young and it would suck if it were something that would haunt him the rest of his life.
I visited Cooper yesterday like I always do. And he was bright and happy to see us as usual. But still Lame. I took him to the arena and made him do some ground work to see if maybe it is something he works out of. Nope still dead lame. We shall see what the vet says tomorrow. When I find out if he can be helped or not Ill decide what day I am going to move him to the new ranch.
I guess ill spend the rest of the day watching tv. nothing else to really do.
I noticed that the clouds are grey today. I guess it matches my mood today.
Sigh
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Without a Struggle, There Can Be No Progress
Well Yesterday I went out to the ranch to visit and work with Cooper like I do every day. And When I walked him out of his stall he was dead lame! He could barely walk and practically stumbled out of his stall. I was speechless. I did not know what to think.
So I coaxed him to the tie rail so I can inspect him and see what it could be. Checked all four legs. No swelling, no wounds of any sort, no hot spots, no sore spots, NOTHING VISIBLE! But it was obvious to me that he was in pain by the way he was walking. He was acting the same. Still very friendly and exited to see us. Still as goofy as ever. Since he was so lame I could not really do any training with him so I did a really nice long grooming session and put him up. I gave him some bute to help with the pain.
This morning Robby and I called a vet to come look at him. He won't be able to come look at him till Saturday but we were just glad to get the appointment at all in such short notice.
We went back there to visit him today and he was still dead lame. A tad better but still pretty lame. I have no clue what could be wrong with him but if I lose him I think I will just die. I have only owned him a short while But I am in love with this boy!
I am trying so hard to be a more positive person but its so hard when crap like this keeps happening to me. I have been struggling to be happy but I keep failing epically at it.
We shall see what happens on Saturday. I really hope that Cooper is ok and that this is all just a bad dream.
I swear if I lose one more horse I will lose my mind!!!!!
Sigh
So I coaxed him to the tie rail so I can inspect him and see what it could be. Checked all four legs. No swelling, no wounds of any sort, no hot spots, no sore spots, NOTHING VISIBLE! But it was obvious to me that he was in pain by the way he was walking. He was acting the same. Still very friendly and exited to see us. Still as goofy as ever. Since he was so lame I could not really do any training with him so I did a really nice long grooming session and put him up. I gave him some bute to help with the pain.
This morning Robby and I called a vet to come look at him. He won't be able to come look at him till Saturday but we were just glad to get the appointment at all in such short notice.
We went back there to visit him today and he was still dead lame. A tad better but still pretty lame. I have no clue what could be wrong with him but if I lose him I think I will just die. I have only owned him a short while But I am in love with this boy!
I am trying so hard to be a more positive person but its so hard when crap like this keeps happening to me. I have been struggling to be happy but I keep failing epically at it.
We shall see what happens on Saturday. I really hope that Cooper is ok and that this is all just a bad dream.
I swear if I lose one more horse I will lose my mind!!!!!
Sigh
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Deer Season
Well apparently, here in northern CA its deer hunting season.
A couple of days ago I was at my ranch for my daily visit with Cooper. I had him at the tie rail grooming him when I saw this very tall man dressed in camo gear and a huge bow and arrow approaching me. He walked up to me and told me that he was a friend of the ranch owner. He said that Steve (ranch owner) lets him come on his land and hunt the deer that live there, since they over populate the land. I really did not say much back to him as I was stunned. I just returned to grooming my horse with a disgusted look on my face.
I am aware that people hunt for a food source. And I guess I understand that. Maybe. However, people that hunt them for fun make me sick. I mean this person has 44 acres of land that he does nothing with. So it’s not like the deer are doing anything negative to the land. I really just could not believe it.
So to me this is the last straw with this ranch. I am tired of all the bull that is going on there. The owner has the strangest people living on his property. I am not one to judge because I am in no way normal. But I’m talking about drug dealers and people like that.
When I first came to this ranch I was aware that he rented trailers to a few people. he told me that they are quiet people and would not cause any trouble. They pretty much leave me alone but I do not like the shady dealings that are going on there. I am not even going to write about them because I am so furious. But I will say that one of the tenants is drunk 99.9 percent of the time and carries a gun around with him. Lovely right?
It has gotten to the point where I do not like being there alone for long periods of times. Robby and I both agreed that for me to move to a new ranch that actually has people for me to ride with. I am the only boarder at my ranch. After my second week at this ranch the three other boarders took their horses and stuff and got the hell out of there. This should have been my sign. But I like to give things a chance. But its coming down to me and my horses safety.
When I first moved to this ranch. I saw it as a diamond on the rough. And I did like the huge covered arena and the all day turnout for my horse so I decided to give it a chance. Sigh.
So Robby and I are going to look at a couple of places tomorrow and hopefully I will be out of that hell hole soon.
I haven’t been doing as much with Cooper as I should because I have been really depressed the past couple days about the ranch situation and me being a little homesick and of course losing Fen. Of course having horrible menstrual cramps did not really help my mood either. It’s also not really safe to be training a young horse while dumbasses are in the hills shooting off their guns. I promised Cooper that as soon as we move I will be more serious with his training. Hope later I will go and at least hang out with him. Until then I will be sitting here feeling icky. I really need something good to happen. Sigh.
bye for now
A couple of days ago I was at my ranch for my daily visit with Cooper. I had him at the tie rail grooming him when I saw this very tall man dressed in camo gear and a huge bow and arrow approaching me. He walked up to me and told me that he was a friend of the ranch owner. He said that Steve (ranch owner) lets him come on his land and hunt the deer that live there, since they over populate the land. I really did not say much back to him as I was stunned. I just returned to grooming my horse with a disgusted look on my face.
I am aware that people hunt for a food source. And I guess I understand that. Maybe. However, people that hunt them for fun make me sick. I mean this person has 44 acres of land that he does nothing with. So it’s not like the deer are doing anything negative to the land. I really just could not believe it.
So to me this is the last straw with this ranch. I am tired of all the bull that is going on there. The owner has the strangest people living on his property. I am not one to judge because I am in no way normal. But I’m talking about drug dealers and people like that.
When I first came to this ranch I was aware that he rented trailers to a few people. he told me that they are quiet people and would not cause any trouble. They pretty much leave me alone but I do not like the shady dealings that are going on there. I am not even going to write about them because I am so furious. But I will say that one of the tenants is drunk 99.9 percent of the time and carries a gun around with him. Lovely right?
It has gotten to the point where I do not like being there alone for long periods of times. Robby and I both agreed that for me to move to a new ranch that actually has people for me to ride with. I am the only boarder at my ranch. After my second week at this ranch the three other boarders took their horses and stuff and got the hell out of there. This should have been my sign. But I like to give things a chance. But its coming down to me and my horses safety.
When I first moved to this ranch. I saw it as a diamond on the rough. And I did like the huge covered arena and the all day turnout for my horse so I decided to give it a chance. Sigh.
So Robby and I are going to look at a couple of places tomorrow and hopefully I will be out of that hell hole soon.
I haven’t been doing as much with Cooper as I should because I have been really depressed the past couple days about the ranch situation and me being a little homesick and of course losing Fen. Of course having horrible menstrual cramps did not really help my mood either. It’s also not really safe to be training a young horse while dumbasses are in the hills shooting off their guns. I promised Cooper that as soon as we move I will be more serious with his training. Hope later I will go and at least hang out with him. Until then I will be sitting here feeling icky. I really need something good to happen. Sigh.
bye for now
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
So I have not written in a couple days. Its sort of hard when you have no internet. I have been stealing the neighbors the past week lol. Anyway hopefully the cable/internet guy will come next week to fix it. Since Robby and I have no freaking clue how to set it up ourselves.
Last night I made amazing tacos. They knocked my socks off. I could probably write a whole post on how amazing my tacos tasted. Ok enough with that.
So my in store training is somewhat almost done at petco. I have like two more hours of computer classes and like three more floor hours. Then I will be able to get more working hours. I still have my dog training classes, I still have no idea when that will happen.
I have been consistent with my training with Cooper. I decided since he is so young I will only ride him about every other day. And the days I do not ride him I will ground drive him and work on ground work.
I will admit that when he bucked the other day it kind of messed my confidence up. But then I realize that I am not a fearful person normally. So I have changed my nervous attitude to a "bring it on!!" attitude. And I think he can feel it because the last couple times I rode him he was much better. a couple days ago I had Robby walk him on a lose lead and I work on trotting and stopping when asked. Then moving forward from the stop when asked. He did much better. Then I rode him off lead back to the tie rail. He did pretty dang good!
Yesterday I just ground drove him, worked more on his walk trot transitions, stopping and backing up. He did great! Later today after my Petco training, I think I will go over there and try to just sit on him, and then ground driving on the trails! I think that sounds pretty good.
I still Miss Fenamore so badly. I go to the ranch and still expect to see that big ol' Head looking my wat....sigh I miss that boy.
Well I am off to start my day. See you all later!
Last night I made amazing tacos. They knocked my socks off. I could probably write a whole post on how amazing my tacos tasted. Ok enough with that.
So my in store training is somewhat almost done at petco. I have like two more hours of computer classes and like three more floor hours. Then I will be able to get more working hours. I still have my dog training classes, I still have no idea when that will happen.
I have been consistent with my training with Cooper. I decided since he is so young I will only ride him about every other day. And the days I do not ride him I will ground drive him and work on ground work.
I will admit that when he bucked the other day it kind of messed my confidence up. But then I realize that I am not a fearful person normally. So I have changed my nervous attitude to a "bring it on!!" attitude. And I think he can feel it because the last couple times I rode him he was much better. a couple days ago I had Robby walk him on a lose lead and I work on trotting and stopping when asked. Then moving forward from the stop when asked. He did much better. Then I rode him off lead back to the tie rail. He did pretty dang good!
Yesterday I just ground drove him, worked more on his walk trot transitions, stopping and backing up. He did great! Later today after my Petco training, I think I will go over there and try to just sit on him, and then ground driving on the trails! I think that sounds pretty good.
I still Miss Fenamore so badly. I go to the ranch and still expect to see that big ol' Head looking my wat....sigh I miss that boy.
Well I am off to start my day. See you all later!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
I’ll Take What I Can Get...
Well today was just another ordinary day. Robby and I picked up some items for our new apartment and that’s about it.
We also went to the local feed store to pick Cooper up some rice bran pellets and more fly repellent for him. I really love my local feed store. They always have every feed I could want in stock. At my old feed store in SoCal, they were always out of what I wanted so I would have to go out of my way to another feed store in another city to get what I wanted. Anyway my new store does not have that much tack in stock, But it has some cute things, and the basics. And the people that work there are so friendly.
Anyway we arrived at the ranch and Cooper was in the pasture with the other horses. He walked right over to me and off we went to get groomed. I was definitely going to ride him today no matter what he threw at me. So I started off the session with more ground driving. He really is very good at it. Then I mounted. He is so good when I mount, does not even budge. Then I asked him to move forward and I got the backing up crap again. I squeezed him more and he backed up more. So I had Robby grab a rein and walk him around again. Then he let go and I was in full control.
I walked him around and practiced stopping then asking him to walk on. He did pretty good. Not as good as I know he can do, But he is three and I have only been working with him for two weeks so I'll take it! Then Robby opened the gate so I can ride him to the hitching rail. I asked him to walk forward and he backed up again. So instead of getting mad, I had Robby walk him to the gate and the rest was great! I even trotted up the little hill Leading to the hitching rail.
All in all I think the session went pretty well. This horse really does want to learn. I think he is just confused about all the change in his young life. And that’s ok with me. We will definitely get through it together. One of these days I will post a pic of Mr. Cooper.
I am still having a hard time with the loss of Fen leaving. Everday it is suppose to feel a little better But I still feel empty. Cooper has big shoes to fill for sure..
Oh and I kicked my own ass in the gym today. was on the treadmill for over an hour running and speed walking.
time to shower and eat my dinner.
We also went to the local feed store to pick Cooper up some rice bran pellets and more fly repellent for him. I really love my local feed store. They always have every feed I could want in stock. At my old feed store in SoCal, they were always out of what I wanted so I would have to go out of my way to another feed store in another city to get what I wanted. Anyway my new store does not have that much tack in stock, But it has some cute things, and the basics. And the people that work there are so friendly.
Anyway we arrived at the ranch and Cooper was in the pasture with the other horses. He walked right over to me and off we went to get groomed. I was definitely going to ride him today no matter what he threw at me. So I started off the session with more ground driving. He really is very good at it. Then I mounted. He is so good when I mount, does not even budge. Then I asked him to move forward and I got the backing up crap again. I squeezed him more and he backed up more. So I had Robby grab a rein and walk him around again. Then he let go and I was in full control.
I walked him around and practiced stopping then asking him to walk on. He did pretty good. Not as good as I know he can do, But he is three and I have only been working with him for two weeks so I'll take it! Then Robby opened the gate so I can ride him to the hitching rail. I asked him to walk forward and he backed up again. So instead of getting mad, I had Robby walk him to the gate and the rest was great! I even trotted up the little hill Leading to the hitching rail.
All in all I think the session went pretty well. This horse really does want to learn. I think he is just confused about all the change in his young life. And that’s ok with me. We will definitely get through it together. One of these days I will post a pic of Mr. Cooper.
I am still having a hard time with the loss of Fen leaving. Everday it is suppose to feel a little better But I still feel empty. Cooper has big shoes to fill for sure..
Oh and I kicked my own ass in the gym today. was on the treadmill for over an hour running and speed walking.
time to shower and eat my dinner.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Today I lost my best friend, But Gained a Guardian Angel
Well Fen has left for his new home today, Heaven.
He went peacefully and that’s all I could have ever asked for. I arranged for this whole process to be done when I knew that all the people at my ranch would not be there, so it could be quiet. And I got that wish granted.
Fen, thank you for giving me the best two years of my life. You taught me how to love, trust and come outside my comfort zone. I could not thank you enough for all of this that you blessed me with. I am a bit too emotional to go on with this little speech.
*Tears*
When I am feeling a little bit better I will make a memorial video to express myself.
After all of this happened, Robby got off work and I still wanted to work with Cooper. I had to do something to make myself feel better. But we decided to leave the ranch for a while to grab a snack and to get some air…
Then I went back to the ranch to work with Cooper. It was so weird not seeing Dear Fen there… Cooper was happy to see me as always. He has not been allowed in the pasture for a couple of day because he had a small swelling on his left leg, So I wanted to let him rest for a couple of days. He is totally fine now. So I got there and pulled Cooper out of his stall. Gave him a good grooming and then tacked him up. I walked to the arena and mounted and my saddle slipped! So I got off, fixed it, then got back on. Then I gently squeezed him and asked him to walk and he just planted his feet and would not budge! I asked again and he started to back up. I asked again and he gave me two really good bucks then reared up pretty high. So I got off of him and checked his tack to make sure it was all ok.
Everything was fine so I lunged him for a couple of minutes to get some of the energy out. Got back on and asked him to walk forward. He started backed up again! So I got off again and ground drove him with my lunge lines for about ten minutes drilling him on stopping and going when I ask. He did great with that so I got back on him. I asked him to go and he started to back up yet again! At this point I was mad at myself for letting him think he can get away with these shenanigans. Luckily Robby was there and I asked him to grab the reins and walk Cooper around with me on him. This seemed to have done the trick because after a few steps Robby let go and we were walking on our own once again.
We had a couple more small issues, but I made sure to end on a good note. It was not our greatest training day. I tried to make the best of it. I hope this is just a rebellious stage and that we will work through it. Also he could have been feeling my negative energy from what happened earlier. Robby says he has faith in my training abilities and that I will be able to do it. I think so too. I will be at it again tomorrow for sure.
I guess I don’t have as much faith in myself as I should. Well I will definitely not give up. I have given up on too many things in my life and that has got me nowhere in life.
Time for me to go to bed and reflect on what has happened today.
He went peacefully and that’s all I could have ever asked for. I arranged for this whole process to be done when I knew that all the people at my ranch would not be there, so it could be quiet. And I got that wish granted.
Fen, thank you for giving me the best two years of my life. You taught me how to love, trust and come outside my comfort zone. I could not thank you enough for all of this that you blessed me with. I am a bit too emotional to go on with this little speech.
*Tears*
When I am feeling a little bit better I will make a memorial video to express myself.
After all of this happened, Robby got off work and I still wanted to work with Cooper. I had to do something to make myself feel better. But we decided to leave the ranch for a while to grab a snack and to get some air…
Then I went back to the ranch to work with Cooper. It was so weird not seeing Dear Fen there… Cooper was happy to see me as always. He has not been allowed in the pasture for a couple of day because he had a small swelling on his left leg, So I wanted to let him rest for a couple of days. He is totally fine now. So I got there and pulled Cooper out of his stall. Gave him a good grooming and then tacked him up. I walked to the arena and mounted and my saddle slipped! So I got off, fixed it, then got back on. Then I gently squeezed him and asked him to walk and he just planted his feet and would not budge! I asked again and he started to back up. I asked again and he gave me two really good bucks then reared up pretty high. So I got off of him and checked his tack to make sure it was all ok.
Everything was fine so I lunged him for a couple of minutes to get some of the energy out. Got back on and asked him to walk forward. He started backed up again! So I got off again and ground drove him with my lunge lines for about ten minutes drilling him on stopping and going when I ask. He did great with that so I got back on him. I asked him to go and he started to back up yet again! At this point I was mad at myself for letting him think he can get away with these shenanigans. Luckily Robby was there and I asked him to grab the reins and walk Cooper around with me on him. This seemed to have done the trick because after a few steps Robby let go and we were walking on our own once again.
We had a couple more small issues, but I made sure to end on a good note. It was not our greatest training day. I tried to make the best of it. I hope this is just a rebellious stage and that we will work through it. Also he could have been feeling my negative energy from what happened earlier. Robby says he has faith in my training abilities and that I will be able to do it. I think so too. I will be at it again tomorrow for sure.
I guess I don’t have as much faith in myself as I should. Well I will definitely not give up. I have given up on too many things in my life and that has got me nowhere in life.
Time for me to go to bed and reflect on what has happened today.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Life Is like a Box of Chocolates... You Never Know What You're Gonna Get Next
Well....
Tomorrow is the day that I send my best friend over the rainbow bridge. The reality is really setting in now…I just feel so numb right now. Don’t know whether to cry or be angry.
I just hope that He will be happier when he goes to heaven and that he will never forget me. Today I just hung out in his stall grooming him and petting him. Just could not stop staring at him.
I had my third ride on Cooper back yesterday to help get my mind off whats going on with Fen. And we rode outside the arena. Yes, I know that was stupid! But for some reason I have a lot of trust in this horse. I just rode him for about five minutes since he does not have the proper muscle tone yet. We are just working on our "whoa" and our steering. Also working on leg pressure.
Today I just ground drove him since it was so hot and I wanted to give him a break. They we played “tag” in the arena. He is really playful but not rough at all. He is very sweet and I already feel like I have a really good strong bond with him. Not quite the same thing I had going on with Fen but it did make me feel good.
I hope I can be strong tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the day that I send my best friend over the rainbow bridge. The reality is really setting in now…I just feel so numb right now. Don’t know whether to cry or be angry.
I just hope that He will be happier when he goes to heaven and that he will never forget me. Today I just hung out in his stall grooming him and petting him. Just could not stop staring at him.
I had my third ride on Cooper back yesterday to help get my mind off whats going on with Fen. And we rode outside the arena. Yes, I know that was stupid! But for some reason I have a lot of trust in this horse. I just rode him for about five minutes since he does not have the proper muscle tone yet. We are just working on our "whoa" and our steering. Also working on leg pressure.
Today I just ground drove him since it was so hot and I wanted to give him a break. They we played “tag” in the arena. He is really playful but not rough at all. He is very sweet and I already feel like I have a really good strong bond with him. Not quite the same thing I had going on with Fen but it did make me feel good.
I hope I can be strong tomorrow.
Friday, September 3, 2010
getting back on the weight loss wagon
Well just as the title says, I am soon getting back on the weight loss wagon. two years ago I joined weight watchers, and lost almost a hundred pounds with them. In addition, managed to keep most of it off for a year. Then things started changing and changing faster than I could have prepared myself for. And with that my dieting and exercise went out the window.
At first i was not gaining much weight, a pound here a pound there. So I figured I could eat what I want and get away with it. Then when I quit my job at the kennel, that’s when it all really came back. I guess since all the physical activity basically disappeared and I kept eating all the junk I had it coming. I know what I need to do but for some reason it seems harder now then it was two years ago. I need to suck it up and just do it, I know this. Its just so Hard when you live with a guy who is naturally thin and can eat what ever he freaking wants.
I would not be making a big deal over a couple of pounds. But I gained thirty pounds, that’s not a small number when it comes to pounds. I’m not doing it for anyone else but myself and for all horses that have to carry my fat ass around. I don’t want to be some skinny itty bitty girl, Just a normal healthy weight. So I will be doing weight watchers online and exercising in my new gym..
On the subject of my dear Fen, I made the appointment to send him to greener pastures on the 6th. its so soon but I don't think I can stand seeing him like this any longer. I have done research as well as talked to some experts and they all agree if it was ringbone or the broken coffin bone, that fen could probably cope and get better with time. But suffering with both is a double whammy and he would never be the same again. As I am writing this my eyes are filling with tears. Gosh I really hate the idea of him being gone....
Well I must return to unpacking...sigh
At first i was not gaining much weight, a pound here a pound there. So I figured I could eat what I want and get away with it. Then when I quit my job at the kennel, that’s when it all really came back. I guess since all the physical activity basically disappeared and I kept eating all the junk I had it coming. I know what I need to do but for some reason it seems harder now then it was two years ago. I need to suck it up and just do it, I know this. Its just so Hard when you live with a guy who is naturally thin and can eat what ever he freaking wants.
I would not be making a big deal over a couple of pounds. But I gained thirty pounds, that’s not a small number when it comes to pounds. I’m not doing it for anyone else but myself and for all horses that have to carry my fat ass around. I don’t want to be some skinny itty bitty girl, Just a normal healthy weight. So I will be doing weight watchers online and exercising in my new gym..
On the subject of my dear Fen, I made the appointment to send him to greener pastures on the 6th. its so soon but I don't think I can stand seeing him like this any longer. I have done research as well as talked to some experts and they all agree if it was ringbone or the broken coffin bone, that fen could probably cope and get better with time. But suffering with both is a double whammy and he would never be the same again. As I am writing this my eyes are filling with tears. Gosh I really hate the idea of him being gone....
Well I must return to unpacking...sigh
Thursday, September 2, 2010
There Is a Storm in my Belly
Well I woke up this morning wit one of the worst stomach aches I have ever had. I guess I ate to much pizza and wings last night. Guess this is the real sign that I need to start eating healthier.
We moved to our new apartment on Tuesday. We had to wait an extra month for it, because the lady who lived in it before us totally trashed the place. It is gorgeous!! So worth the wait!! I don't know if I mentioned it but we had to stay with Robby's dad while we waited for the apartment to be ready. It was actually fun. He lives in a beautiful neighborhood. But there was a lack of privacy issue. But we all got a long just great for the six weeks we were there. I’m sure his dad is happy to be rid of all our crazy cats though.
So yesterday I took my driving test, and failed it for the third freaking time! I always do really good then do something silly right at the end to ruin it for myself! I he asked me to make the final left, be he kept shouting it at me and I panicked and did a U-Turn instead, it was legal but he failed me for that anyway. Tests make me so nervous!! And the worst part is after you fail it for the third time your permit expires and you have to get that all over again before you can even drive a car again. SIGH. Guess I got to try all the freaking DMVs in California to get a license, I have to pass at one of them right?
Fen is not doing much better. He is not even eating. I just do not know what to do. Well I do know what to do, but that involves losing one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
On a more positive note, I adopted this 3yr thoroughbred horse (that I have been calling "Cooper"). I know Fen's time is coming to an end. And I can never replace him But Robby and I felt that if I had another horse when Fen's time came it might be a little easier for me to handle that harsh reality. Anyway When I got Cooper he was not trained at all. And I have been working on his manners and getting him ready to ride. I finally got some nerve and I had my first ride on him Tuesday night and he was excellent!! It made me feel so good that I can start a horse decently. Yay!
Well that's all for now. Ill just be sitting here praying for death till this stomach ache goes away.
Bleh
We moved to our new apartment on Tuesday. We had to wait an extra month for it, because the lady who lived in it before us totally trashed the place. It is gorgeous!! So worth the wait!! I don't know if I mentioned it but we had to stay with Robby's dad while we waited for the apartment to be ready. It was actually fun. He lives in a beautiful neighborhood. But there was a lack of privacy issue. But we all got a long just great for the six weeks we were there. I’m sure his dad is happy to be rid of all our crazy cats though.
So yesterday I took my driving test, and failed it for the third freaking time! I always do really good then do something silly right at the end to ruin it for myself! I he asked me to make the final left, be he kept shouting it at me and I panicked and did a U-Turn instead, it was legal but he failed me for that anyway. Tests make me so nervous!! And the worst part is after you fail it for the third time your permit expires and you have to get that all over again before you can even drive a car again. SIGH. Guess I got to try all the freaking DMVs in California to get a license, I have to pass at one of them right?
Fen is not doing much better. He is not even eating. I just do not know what to do. Well I do know what to do, but that involves losing one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
On a more positive note, I adopted this 3yr thoroughbred horse (that I have been calling "Cooper"). I know Fen's time is coming to an end. And I can never replace him But Robby and I felt that if I had another horse when Fen's time came it might be a little easier for me to handle that harsh reality. Anyway When I got Cooper he was not trained at all. And I have been working on his manners and getting him ready to ride. I finally got some nerve and I had my first ride on him Tuesday night and he was excellent!! It made me feel so good that I can start a horse decently. Yay!
Well that's all for now. Ill just be sitting here praying for death till this stomach ache goes away.
Bleh
Monday, August 30, 2010
Im back (for the third freaking time)
Hey y'all. This is probably my third attempt at keeping this blog active. I always promise to keep it going but then life gets in the way. But I make a good effort to keep up with it this time.
Man, so much has changed I have no clue where to begin.
I guess We can start by the Fact the I moved to Northern Ca with Robby (Fen my horse came along too!). He and I always talked about moving up here. Its simply beautiful and we wanted to start a new life together. So with the move and all I ended up quitting the dog kennel. The day I gave my two week notice I was so exited to finally be free! But my last day there was bitter sweet. Sweet because that job took all that I had to give and messed up my life at times. But bitter because I really did love what I did with the dogs, and I made some pretty cool friends there.
But I also left my family and friends. I hardly see much of my family very often except holidays. So that will not change at all. But my friends I saw nearly every day when I went to take care of my horse at the ranch. Friends that I have known my entire life. But they were all very supportive in me taking control of my life. Because for a while I had no idea where I was going in life. Now I have a fresh start and I am going to live life to the fullest!!
I came up here thinking that I was going to have a job at a ranch taking people on trail rides, giving lessons, and taking care of horses. Which would be my dream job. But those dreams were put on hold for a while due to the fact that the ranch owner was having some financial difficulties. So I ended up getting a job at a local Petco. I remember when I was living in Southern CA. I tried applying to Many different petcos and never got a answer out of them. The job market was horrible down there which was why I had to work at the kennel for so long. But here Petco was one of the first places I applied to and I got the job! I am going to be a sales associate and also they are going to pay me to go to dog training school So I can lead training classes there. So I am very exited about that.
Also with this are some changes I am making in my life for the better. I have dropped the ball with my weight loss and gained back about twenty five pounds. So starting pretty much now I am going to start living a more healthy life style. More exercise and I am actually going to use my weight watchers online account haha.
As many of you know, I have Fen. A wonderful special horse who has done so much for my life this past two years. Fen is getting up there in years, but is by no means old. He has a condition called "Ringbone" a degenerative bone disease in horse. Sometimes it flares up horrible and other times it’s silent. He has been in a lot of pain lately since I moved him. So I had a vet out. And this vet said he definitely had ringbone and it was pretty advanced...Back in LA I had three vets look at him, once was not sure what the lameness was, one diagnosed him with ringbone and the other said he is perfectly fine. So I just went with the vet that said he was fine..Well he is certainly not fine these days. And on top of that he broke a bone in his hoof called a coffin bone. So right now he is fighting two different things,...I am giving him a few days. But he is so miserable and I may have to send him over the rainbow bridge soon...
We have been staying with Robby's dad the past six weeks (us and all three of our lovely cats) and we finally move into our new apartment tomorrow...
So that’s all you get for now.
Hopefully better things happen soon...
Man, so much has changed I have no clue where to begin.
I guess We can start by the Fact the I moved to Northern Ca with Robby (Fen my horse came along too!). He and I always talked about moving up here. Its simply beautiful and we wanted to start a new life together. So with the move and all I ended up quitting the dog kennel. The day I gave my two week notice I was so exited to finally be free! But my last day there was bitter sweet. Sweet because that job took all that I had to give and messed up my life at times. But bitter because I really did love what I did with the dogs, and I made some pretty cool friends there.
But I also left my family and friends. I hardly see much of my family very often except holidays. So that will not change at all. But my friends I saw nearly every day when I went to take care of my horse at the ranch. Friends that I have known my entire life. But they were all very supportive in me taking control of my life. Because for a while I had no idea where I was going in life. Now I have a fresh start and I am going to live life to the fullest!!
I came up here thinking that I was going to have a job at a ranch taking people on trail rides, giving lessons, and taking care of horses. Which would be my dream job. But those dreams were put on hold for a while due to the fact that the ranch owner was having some financial difficulties. So I ended up getting a job at a local Petco. I remember when I was living in Southern CA. I tried applying to Many different petcos and never got a answer out of them. The job market was horrible down there which was why I had to work at the kennel for so long. But here Petco was one of the first places I applied to and I got the job! I am going to be a sales associate and also they are going to pay me to go to dog training school So I can lead training classes there. So I am very exited about that.
Also with this are some changes I am making in my life for the better. I have dropped the ball with my weight loss and gained back about twenty five pounds. So starting pretty much now I am going to start living a more healthy life style. More exercise and I am actually going to use my weight watchers online account haha.
As many of you know, I have Fen. A wonderful special horse who has done so much for my life this past two years. Fen is getting up there in years, but is by no means old. He has a condition called "Ringbone" a degenerative bone disease in horse. Sometimes it flares up horrible and other times it’s silent. He has been in a lot of pain lately since I moved him. So I had a vet out. And this vet said he definitely had ringbone and it was pretty advanced...Back in LA I had three vets look at him, once was not sure what the lameness was, one diagnosed him with ringbone and the other said he is perfectly fine. So I just went with the vet that said he was fine..Well he is certainly not fine these days. And on top of that he broke a bone in his hoof called a coffin bone. So right now he is fighting two different things,...I am giving him a few days. But he is so miserable and I may have to send him over the rainbow bridge soon...
We have been staying with Robby's dad the past six weeks (us and all three of our lovely cats) and we finally move into our new apartment tomorrow...
So that’s all you get for now.
Hopefully better things happen soon...
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